Good news on the Weight Watchers front: I lost 2.2 lbs since last week. Reading the book I mentioned recently has helped immensely. It's kind of like smacking myself in the face with the stuff I've been thinking. I still have the occasional treat, like the Reese's Christmas Tree from SuperAmerica on Saturday, but I'm relearning what I've been learning from WW all these years: track what you eat. Write it down. It's not that hard, just do it.
So I'm back to just doing it. Some of it will be on here, but all of it will be in my Weight Watchers tracker.
About a month ago, I asked someone out on a date. My precise wording was something along the lines of "How would you feel about going out for a drink sometime?" The person I asked out was someone I had known in the past, more of a friendly acquaintance than a friend, but someone who I was attracted to. The impetus for asking this person out was finding out that they liked guys who were of the bigger variety. So I thought, what the hell, threw caution to the wind and asked them out. I did not get a response for almost three weeks, at which point I had thought that I had offended them greatly by asking. I didn't know they had sent me a response for about a week, because I hadn't logged into the site where the response lay in wait. Their response was to apologize for taking so long to get back to me, and to thank me for my interest but they were looking for someone younger as a potential boyfriend.
Okay, I cop to the fact that I asked them out on a date of the romantic variety, but that was all. To me, a successful first date is one that leads to a second date. That's it. Boyfriends? Talk about thinking ahead! I wouldn't even assume that there was going to be a kiss good night on the first date. I'm not opposed to that, but it wouldn't be an assumption, much less anything more than that. In telling this to some friends, I got the impression that they felt I wasn't being true with my motives. I was told that the response that I got from the person I asked was completely appropriate and that I shouldn't be surprised by that. Perhaps it's a generational thing, as the person I asked on the date is younger than I am. And maybe that's how I thought of things when I was younger as well. I've seen so many people talk about their boyfriend, and then I find out they've known each other for just a few weeks. Or I'll hear about someone talking about their ex, and I find out that they went on three dates. That's not an ex, that's someone that you went out on a few dates with and decided not to go out on any more. Are you even going out when you've only had three dates?
So back to the person who said that they were looking for someone younger as a potential boyfriend. Should that preclude him from going out on a date, yes, even a romantic one if the person doesn't fall into the "boyfriend" guidelines? Dates should be how people get to know each other better. You get together, you have dinner, you drink wine, you go for a walk, and most importantly, you talk to each other. Tell each other about your interests, about your hometown, about school. Maybe about your exes, but that's probably not a good idea. But mostly, just learn about each other. This will let you figure out if you want to go out on another date. Is it the word itself that is so troubling? When two friends hang out and do those things, is it a date? A date has a lot of cultural weight to it. You start out by dating, and end up by planning each others funerals. But that's only one path. So many other paths, but do the first step on those paths need different names so as to differentiate the outcomes?
Dating or hanging out, are you only allowed to do one with friends and the other with potential boyfriends?
My postings about my eating habits have been very helpful to me, even if I haven't been as dedicated as I want to be. Every day, I feel like I have the best of intentions to track everything, to exercise, to not eat junk food, and by mid-morning, my resolve has wavered, and I'm not posting, not even thinking about it. I go on autopilot as far as the food is concerned. Possibly on Monday, I'm a bit more aware, because I go to Weight Watchers on Monday. So far today, I have tracked my bowl of raisin bran, down to weighing the cereal, weighing the bowl, and weighing the skim milk. I also had a banana and a 45g strawberry (it was a big 'un).
Last Friday, I went to a fitness consultation at the YMCA in the St Paul skyway, and the trainer asked me where I felt my hurdles were. Of course, I mentioned my food issues, particularly my feelings of lack of control, and he suggested I read a book called The End of Overeating, by David A. Kessler. In the introduction to the book, he recounted some interviews he did with various people where they were all saying nearly the exact same things I was. Things like going into a meeting where there's candy on the table and being distracted by the candy the entire time, not being able to refuse an invitation to go out to eat even if you've already eaten, just all kind of things like that.
I've been reading it over the weekend, the chapters about how food, especially highly-palatable food, works with your brain chemistry, and how the food industry takes advantage of all this. It's kind of eye-opening. The last section is called Food Rehab. We'll see what all is in that in a hundred pages or so.
I said that I wanted these entries to be me making more of a disclosure of my eating and general health habits. This weekend was not a good weekend for that. It was Halloween, of course, with multiple parties, and excursions out to local drinking establishments. I do feel that I was better than I've been in the past, but there were still a lot of calories consumed in the form of alcohol, not to mention the various spreads at said parties. Highlights include the punch, the Chinese buffet, the Mummified Pig tails (pigs in a blanket), but I also did get to the gym on Friday and on Sunday.
Speaking of the gym, I moved my membership from the YWCA to the YMCA this weekend. I love the YWCA, but it was becoming less and less convenient to get there for a decent workout. I toured the Saint Paul Skyway YMCA on Friday, and was going to take a few days to mull it over. The last straw was the two hour bus ride on the 53 to get from downtown Saint Paul to Uptown to lift weights after work. A bus ride that normally takes about 50 minutes, took two hours for whatever reason. I never saw an accident or emergency vehicles, so my supposition is that construction on 94 was so bad, it forced people off the freeway and onto the side streets. The 53 runs on Marshall and Lake, and with University also under construction, everyone decided to go south a few blocks. After getting to the gym over an hour after I initially planned, and realizing that it's not going to get any better until spring, my decision was made. Now, I can walk over to the YMCA during my lunch breaks or after work before even getting on the bus. Heck, I can even use it to shower in the morning after bicycling over from Minneapolis.
So going by certain calendars, 1 November would be a brand new year. It's a great time to refocus on the future and while not completely forgetting about the past, use it for what it is, a learning experience. I'm going to continue working on the things I've written about in the past, particularly keeping track of what I'm putting in my mouth, because it can only help me with getting back to tracking with Weight Watchers.
Today's meals so far have consisted of two slices of Brownberry Double Protein bread with two slice of Oscar Mayer Oven Roasted Turkey Breast, followed by an orange. Someone brought in a bag of candy to work, and I've had three chewy sweet tart pieces (think Laffy Taffy), and a fun-sized bag of Peanut M&Ms, as well as a fun-sized bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms. Hopefully that'll be all gone by the time I get back from the gym. I also had a Lean Cuisine, Grilled Chicken with Penne and vegetables. I skipped the caramel apple dessert that came with it, as it seemed rather nasty. I know, as opposed to the Lean Cuisine itself, right?
I actually did something last night I haven't done in awhile. I cooked! Quite possibly the most simple dish you can cook, spaghetti. Some friends came over to see my place, so I boiled up a pot of spaghetti, and served it with a jar of spaghetti sauce of the garlic variety. I also bought some sweet italian sausage, chopped them up, and put them in the sauce. I added a few other spices to add to the taste, including cinnamon, which actually worked very well.
Add to that the frozen yogurt cone (Annie's) that I had in the afternoon, and the two slices of oven roasted turkey breast on my roommate's low-fat white bread (bleah), and you have my food consumption for yesterday. I did feel quite bloated again when I went to bed, which is probably from the water in the pasta. I need to remember these feelings, how I feel after I eat, how my stomach feels, how my mouth feels, and think of them before I eat.
It's so easy to forget things when you don't write them down. I had a Thomas multi-grain English Muffin, then looked at the clock, realized it was 12:30 and that I should just get lunch. I was getting hungry by that point, so it was good to eat, although I probably should've waited ten minutes to see how I was feeling after the english muffin.
For lunch, I got a small serving of macaroni and beef from the store on the second floor, along with a package of wasabi almonds and an orange.
I keep putting off posting my food intake. One of the things we learn about in Weight Watchers is to track your food and subtract it from your points before you eat it. Basically, think about the food before it even goes into your mouth. But instead, I'm eating first, and thinking about writing it down later. For example, after my last post, a co-worker asked me to go to D Brian's with her, and I should've thought about going to a breakfast place after already eating my morning bowl of cereal. But I didn't, I went, and I bought the Low Carb Special, which is three eggs and choice of meat. I always get them over easy, and then add a side of wheat toast (two slices, buttered) to scrape up the yolk with. Today, I added sausage patties as my meat choice. I could've made it to lunch on just the bowl of cereal, but going to the restaurant in my building made it too easy to get something else and not think about the consequences. I really should write some of those consequences down and stick them up on the wall in my cube. Any time someone suggests going to the convenience store, going to D Brian's, going to get food outside of lunch time, I can look at them, and decide if it's worth it.
Overall, yesterday was mostly good. There was very little snacking during the day. I got up and had a bowl of raisin bran before work, and a lean pocket at work. The egg roll rice noodle salad for lunch. After work, I had a good workout at the gym using the free weights, and followed that up with a grilled pork chop with a few baked apple slices on it from Lunds. The downfall came at the theater, where I got a 3.5oz package of Swedish Fish. Then after I got home, I had a microwave steamer pack of brown rice with a can of sardines in olive oil with it. I still had brown rice left after I finished the sardines, so I had four slices of the oven roasted turkey breast. I went to bed feeling kind of bloated, but that must've been the fibre I had throughout the day. I'm going to touch on that today, how I feel when I'm done eating most things.
Lunch consisted of a grilled chicken caesar wrap from the Nectary, and a package of wasabi almonds. Not sure what I'll have tonight, but I'm going to go directly to Uptown from work to go to the gym, then go see Weekend at the Uptown. I've been good lately about avoiding popcorn unless I go to the Riverview. That's really the only place where I like the popcorn any more. But I'll probably head to Lunds after the gym to get something from the deli, before the movie starts.